Dear Who Ever You Are,
It's a special day for her today and I greeted her. I'm okay that she's happy.... But damn, I miss her and I can't get her back because I know for a fact that her life became better without me.
I miss her. I miss her. I miss her. I don't know what to do. The only positive idea that I can imagine is that one day we'll meet again and we can give it another shot.
Give me strength to overcome this. Give me the strength to let her go. Give me the strength to see her happy.
Love,
El
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
8
Dear Who Ever You Are,
I'm 40% good already. Like I can see again the good things around the corner. It's true that the only thing that stops you is yourself. You either wait for a miracle or walk away. I've been babbling about myself that I forgot about the world. I realized that when you're down like imagine you're in your room and you're laying down the floor kind of down, the only thing that you can do is to stand up. And that's why I'm doing slowly... I'm trying to stand up. And encouragement from personal friends and new friends are motivating me to do so.
Thank you so much for listening to me, Man. You're the best. That's why my friends really like to go to you whenever they're down. You're maybe invisible but you give hope that there's always something to be happy everyday.
Love,
El
I'm 40% good already. Like I can see again the good things around the corner. It's true that the only thing that stops you is yourself. You either wait for a miracle or walk away. I've been babbling about myself that I forgot about the world. I realized that when you're down like imagine you're in your room and you're laying down the floor kind of down, the only thing that you can do is to stand up. And that's why I'm doing slowly... I'm trying to stand up. And encouragement from personal friends and new friends are motivating me to do so.
Thank you so much for listening to me, Man. You're the best. That's why my friends really like to go to you whenever they're down. You're maybe invisible but you give hope that there's always something to be happy everyday.
Love,
El
Monday, May 4, 2015
7
Dear Who Ever You Are,
I'm not going to her event. It's too painful. Seeing her happy without you? I'd rather jump off a cliff rather than see that. I want her to be happy but I don't want to see her happy face to face. Am I being selfish? I want to show to her that I'm mature and if I go to that event I'll show to her that I'm her friend... But the sad truth is I can't be "just friends" with her so I wont go to the event.
What do you think? It's too painful to see her and her beautiful dress. I'm still in love with her, dude. I'm still in love with everything about her and I need to move on. So I'm not going. I'll just spend the day with my friends.
Please put me in the right path and give me the strength to hold whatever challenges that I'll face ahead. Right now, I'm in a state where I want to chase her and yet she doesn't want to get chased after because her life's better without me... So I'm gonna try to think that my life would be better without her.
Love,
El
I'm not going to her event. It's too painful. Seeing her happy without you? I'd rather jump off a cliff rather than see that. I want her to be happy but I don't want to see her happy face to face. Am I being selfish? I want to show to her that I'm mature and if I go to that event I'll show to her that I'm her friend... But the sad truth is I can't be "just friends" with her so I wont go to the event.
What do you think? It's too painful to see her and her beautiful dress. I'm still in love with her, dude. I'm still in love with everything about her and I need to move on. So I'm not going. I'll just spend the day with my friends.
Please put me in the right path and give me the strength to hold whatever challenges that I'll face ahead. Right now, I'm in a state where I want to chase her and yet she doesn't want to get chased after because her life's better without me... So I'm gonna try to think that my life would be better without her.
Love,
El
Sunday, May 3, 2015
6
Dear Who Ever You Are,
Let me share You a story.
I remember when I rushed my step dad in the hospital one night because he felt light headed. I dropped him in the emergency room and I parked the car in the underground parking lot of the hospital. The underground parking lot is connected to the deepest part of the emergency room where you can see a lot of doctors saving people who got stabbed and shot. Of course you won't see them because of the covers but you'll see their family and friends crying in the corner staring at the long hallway that people cross to get to the light part of the emergency room which my step father was in that night. I saw death that night. I saw the prayers in that hospital were more sincere than the prayers I saw in churches. But alas, I ignored it. So then I went to my step dad's bed in the hospital and I slept like how I sleep in school. Sitting down and leaning my head down in the sheet. It was 4 am and my step dad woke me up. The doctor said that he was growing old so he better stop eating really acidic food. As we walk towards the door to the parking lot, I saw a new born baby. I saw how the light reflected to his closed eyes. I saw life while it was crying.
That night, I saw how life gets life out of a person and how life gives life. I saw that dying is not the end of life but dying is part of existence. Dying makes existence beautiful because we won't live forever. You gave us the best gift and in that way, living life is more beautiful.
Love,
El
Let me share You a story.
I remember when I rushed my step dad in the hospital one night because he felt light headed. I dropped him in the emergency room and I parked the car in the underground parking lot of the hospital. The underground parking lot is connected to the deepest part of the emergency room where you can see a lot of doctors saving people who got stabbed and shot. Of course you won't see them because of the covers but you'll see their family and friends crying in the corner staring at the long hallway that people cross to get to the light part of the emergency room which my step father was in that night. I saw death that night. I saw the prayers in that hospital were more sincere than the prayers I saw in churches. But alas, I ignored it. So then I went to my step dad's bed in the hospital and I slept like how I sleep in school. Sitting down and leaning my head down in the sheet. It was 4 am and my step dad woke me up. The doctor said that he was growing old so he better stop eating really acidic food. As we walk towards the door to the parking lot, I saw a new born baby. I saw how the light reflected to his closed eyes. I saw life while it was crying.
That night, I saw how life gets life out of a person and how life gives life. I saw that dying is not the end of life but dying is part of existence. Dying makes existence beautiful because we won't live forever. You gave us the best gift and in that way, living life is more beautiful.
Love,
El
4
Dear Whoever You Are,
I talked with my friends the past week They said that I should break up with her and I should forget about her. They said that she’s materialistic and doesnt value me as much as I value her. I didn’t listen to them because I know her better than them. They only see what the wanted to see but I saw her vulnerable and I saw her strong. I saw that she loved me more than I did…. And I was stupid enough to let her go just like that without a fight.
I just miss her. I miss how we used to talk everyday. She was my daily routine. I talk to her in the morning and the night. Now, she’s gone. She's gone just like that. It took me one month to realize that no matter how long you've been with someone or how many memories you've made with them, they can still leave you in a blink of an eye. They can drop everything in a snap because their feelings can change. There was one point in our relationship that I planned my future with her. 3 kids, a really big house, 5 cars and a Lamborghini in the garage. But no matter how planned your plan is, they can still leave you just like that.
I’m hoping that I can move on soon and I know that You will help me. I just need to accept things by venting them out. I just need You.
Love,
El
3
Dear Who Ever You Are,
Man, I miss her. I miss her so much. I miss her brown hair, her long eye lashes, the smell of her perfume, and her terrible belly ring. I miss everything that we had together. It's funny because every time I go out with my friends, I always hope that she'll be there as surprise for me. Damn, I want her back. I miss her terribly and no matter how hard I try to think of the bad things in our relationship, the amount of me missing her is always bigger.
Who Ever You Are, help me to accept. Help me to not want her anymore. Help me to forget her brown hair, long eye lashes, her cologne and belly ring. Help me to remember the memories and not fall in love with them again and again.
Love,
El
Man, I miss her. I miss her so much. I miss her brown hair, her long eye lashes, the smell of her perfume, and her terrible belly ring. I miss everything that we had together. It's funny because every time I go out with my friends, I always hope that she'll be there as surprise for me. Damn, I want her back. I miss her terribly and no matter how hard I try to think of the bad things in our relationship, the amount of me missing her is always bigger.
Who Ever You Are, help me to accept. Help me to not want her anymore. Help me to forget her brown hair, long eye lashes, her cologne and belly ring. Help me to remember the memories and not fall in love with them again and again.
Love,
El
2
Dear Who Ever You Are,
It's been a month since the break up and everyday I check on her and everyday I see that she's happy. My friends told me to not stalk her accounts anymore but still I do everyday. I'm hard headed but I can't go on a day without knowing her day. She went to a club and I saw a picture that she was with her ex boyfriend. That destroyed me seeing her with someone that cheated on her four times. I almost called her the day after but I know for a fact that she's happy now and if I did call her about it, it will just create more problems for her and I don't want that.
Now, she's in the beach for the labor day weekend celebration and right now I'm still stalking her pictures. Yesterday, I saw a picture of my friend hugging her while she's red and I assume that she's intoxicated and after a few minutes the photo was deleted. I don't know what to feel about it but I remember last night I vented out to my friends that I had enough of this.... But a day has passed and I forgave her about it... Why am I stupid? Did you design me to be stupid? Every time that I want to give up, I remind myself the good things we had before like me waking up to her face.
I can't understand Your will but I'm ready to accept. It will be slow but I'm sure that I will accept all the things that I need to understand. Give me strength to do it. Please?
Love,
El
It's been a month since the break up and everyday I check on her and everyday I see that she's happy. My friends told me to not stalk her accounts anymore but still I do everyday. I'm hard headed but I can't go on a day without knowing her day. She went to a club and I saw a picture that she was with her ex boyfriend. That destroyed me seeing her with someone that cheated on her four times. I almost called her the day after but I know for a fact that she's happy now and if I did call her about it, it will just create more problems for her and I don't want that.
Now, she's in the beach for the labor day weekend celebration and right now I'm still stalking her pictures. Yesterday, I saw a picture of my friend hugging her while she's red and I assume that she's intoxicated and after a few minutes the photo was deleted. I don't know what to feel about it but I remember last night I vented out to my friends that I had enough of this.... But a day has passed and I forgave her about it... Why am I stupid? Did you design me to be stupid? Every time that I want to give up, I remind myself the good things we had before like me waking up to her face.
I can't understand Your will but I'm ready to accept. It will be slow but I'm sure that I will accept all the things that I need to understand. Give me strength to do it. Please?
Love,
El
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